Values in Alignment

I wrote a while ago about the difficulty I had in getting my mental values and my dedication of resources in alignment. Since it's been a while, I wanted to check in on this again. I haven't written about it, but I've been turning this topic over in my head. Over the past months, I've been reading on my own and discussing with online folks how they approach it.

I think the most obvious change is that my intended work field is in alignment. Working as an archaeologist, anthropologist, or conservator means understanding and preserving different cultures. Additionally, the funding for this work usually comes from the government or private foundations. This work is very different than where I started out, interested in military funded work in mechanical engineering. My work goals are very much in line with what I believe should be done: I think we should collectively contribute to understanding world culture, unite ourselves to protect and promote learning and collaboration. I'm proud that I will be working in a way that aligns with my values; the guilt-free joy is probably the foundation for continuing my course work at this point.

The other changes are more personal. I practice political celibacy and I absolutely refuse to contribute my energy to being drained by men. I'm very at peace with being ace; I don't feel pressure to give my energy to men or ashamed of the intimacy I feel for my female friends. Lesbian has at last been defanged as an insult. Looking back, I'm amazed at the pain I felt and the knots I twisted myself into over being accused of being a lesbian. I mean that truly, the accusatory tone intended in something that should never be used as an insult! I've cut pornography out of my life for almost 5 years now. I want to increase my focus on sisterhood and supporting women in my life. It's so easy to get caught up in comparison and envy. We are trained early on that there can only be one token in our field, that all the good men will be grabbed by other women, that the happiness of others detracts from our own. I want to unpack this in myself in order to find ways to give meaningfully to other women.

I think the big change that I need to make is to do political activist work. During the past three years, I was very focused on conquering my own little corner of the world. My activist work was focused on supporting women of color in my dorm. Be it serving as an Associate Advisor to encourage women and support them during their freshman year at a prestigious engineering school or hosting tea parties to make space to talk with and embrace the women I lived with in an antagonistic co-ed dorm, all of my work has been very small scale. Most this activism I would now describe as consciousness raising. While the personal is political, I think the gap is that I haven't worked or acted on anything that is explicitly political.

I don't think that individual consumer choices are particularly effective in advocating for political change, but they have eased my conscience since I last wrote. I enjoy shopping mainly at Whole Foods mainly because of the quality of the food. Not because I'm sure my $50 fair trade purchase is going to change the way a global food economy operates. I'm also aware that many other people in my neighborhood can't afford to shop at Whole Foods, much less dedicate the time and effort to home cooking. But this sort of liberal choice activism has been a foundation of my 'work' since I first confronted the gap between my words and actions. I want to make the big step into doing real work!

I'm not sure how to begin political activist work. I hope that I can share the journey I go on, as I slowly figure it out. Most likely I'll start small with volunteer work.

Internship Update

I wanted to give a little update on how my internship has been going.

Read more to find out how things have been going!

What I do

I'm currently in the Public Programs Office; I'm working on an assortment of projects along with staffing evening events. Most projects are small internal paper work things, organizing things in Excel, or helping with the Family Days. I kind of want to work through a few mini-classes in Excel. My experience with tutoring and teaching has been really useful for prepping for the Family Days. I think the most exciting part of the internship is staffing the events: it gives you a real sense of the role the museum plays in the community.

Where I am

I'm in the Public Programs Office, External Affairs. The Public Programs Office is really great. Everyone is super friendly at the Smithsonian. That was one of the first things that struck me about the environment. But this office just goes beyond, filled with enthusiastic and cheerful people. I'm amazed by the scope of these women's work: they do so many programs for the American Art and Renwick. And there are just five of them!

The space itself is an office in the Smithsonian American Art Museum offices in the Victor Building and the museum itself, which is right across the street. This is all right outside of the Gallery/Chinatown metro stop; I just ride the yellow line straight in. I also sometimes make my way to the other Smithsonian museums for research, trainings, special events, or just for my own pleasure.

What I'm learning

I'm trying to take the time this summer to learn as much as I can about the Smithsonian and it's programs. I want to leave with a strong understanding of how museums organize themselves and how individuals can best help a museum. I'd love to see how my understanding of the museum's role for the community changes as I help to staff events rather than just attend them as a guest.

I also want to learn more about professional development; I feel very disconnected at MIT since we don't have a strong program for Art History or Studio Art. Hopefully, I can take the resources and people to find out and connect to the career of conservation.

Why I'm sharing

I'm going to start writing about my internship; I do want to give it a little bit of time so that I can process my experiences and deliver the best information. Also, there is the consideration of privacy and respecting the museum. I doubt that any posts on proper attire or behavior would brush against that, but I need the time to go over things and make sure they are fully in line with the museum's policies.

I might also write about interesting things that are in the museum's catalogue. As I do research, I come across all sorts of neat little gems within the catalogues. Not to mention that it would help to expand my knowledge and yours too!

Mini Update: Packing

Heya,

I've been packing to productive procrastinate on my last final and paper. I turned in two papers earlier this week. Just not feeling this last paper happening.

It's funny how everyone has taken a very "it's almost over; i don't even care" attitude for these last two weeks. Spring semester, man; it's been tough on all of us here in Boston. I should have a post on that after the 24th!

Sorry but, no full updates until after the 24th.

<3

End of Term

It's absolutely amazing to think that it's the end of the semester. Next year I will be a junior! There are so many exciting things to talk about: an exciting summer job, studying for exams, packing for a return to Virginia.

Due to finals there won't be any more posts until after May 24th, when I return to Virginia. After that, I will return to schedule.

Read more for my thoughts on the end of term and summer plans.

Semester Wrap Up: Academics

To think that I'm half-way through my college career is crazy. I just can't believe it; it feels like the time is flying past me. Truth: college takes a lot of sustained work and concentrated dedication. I've felt the wear down of the year when winter was in its coldest, but as the weather warmed up so did I. Not to mention the lift that my floor mates and friends provided. I'm intensely grateful for the friends that I've made. For them and myself, I want to keep up the effort and the energy for the next two years, staying focused on making myself happy and learning rather than weakly stumbling through.

Finals are something that I start prepping for at the start of May, so I'm not drowning in cramming. However there was a major surprise from MIT about Random Hall going through construction and Bexley being closed for the next couple of years. This threw me off schedule for studying. I have a take home exam, a final, and two papers to write. Most of my things are organized to be packed up. Taking the time to pack up also means taking the time to purge my room of things I don't adore. For the summer, I'm going to be storing my things at a paid storage facility; thankfully, MIT should be covering this cost.

Gratitude: The Year as a Gift

There's so much that I'm grateful for, even as I struggle through finals and packing and all the things that come with the wrap up of the year. The winding down of the year puts so many things into perspective. My low points this year are also a way to get back down to my foundation.

So many opportunities and knowledge have come to me, but through this year my goal has been to acknowledge these opportunities as a gift. No one is owed anything so to be gifted kindness, knowledge, and kinship is something really valuable. Easy to overlook, but difficult to find. I've been focusing on improving myself, reading and breathing to appreciate what I have.

This year, every day of it, has been a gift. Low points and high points are part of the process of living; I want to appreciate them as an opportunity for growth and self-possesion.

Upcoming Summer: Work and Play

My summer job is an internship with the Smithsonian American Art. Link through to read about the summer program internship for SI American Art. I'm so excited for this amazing opportunity. There's no way for me to express how much it means to me to be stepping forward toward my dream of working in a museum, to be working with art and towards the purpose of preservation, outreach, and education. I adore the Smithsonian and can basically guarantee that I'll spend my summer gushing about it. If you're also interested in this type of work: Check out the Smithsonian's page for summer internships. 

I'm thinking of getting a part time work-from-home job since the Smithsonian internship isn't paid. I'd like to have something to give me a little bit of spending money and some savings to start off my junior year.

For play, I'm going to be having some of my college friends over. I've already got the full plans for a friend coming over for Otakon! Link to read about Otakon, an amazing anime convention in Baltimore, Maryland. This summer will be my third year attending. Another friend may be dropping by sometime during the summer since she fell a bit in love with Virginia after visiting for Thanksgiving.Also, I'm considering going to see Motion City Soundtrack for their concert July 9th at Virginia Beach.

Summer Blogging

With an increased amount of free time, I want to work on my blog. I really want to step it up to the next level. My goals are to create a banner, signature, line break, and maybe even  an extra feature for each week. I'd really like to work on my graphic design and art; utilizing that toward the blog would give me a good schedule and motivation.

I would also like to get back into Youtube and creating videos. It's something that I've always enjoyed but don't seem to block out time for.

If there's anything you want to see in the blog or from me in general, please let me know!

Positivity: Spring Refresh

I want to see how my new year's resolutions have been going, possibly recommitting on the ones that aren't doing as well on.

Read more for the break down on how I've been doing!

• Draw Every Day

I haven't been doing so well on this. But I have been drawing more often than last semester. I'm even nearly through with my sketch book. Overall, I think that this goal might need to be broken down a little bit more so that I can measure my progress on it.

• Blog Post Weekly

I have been doing this. In fact, I've been blogging twice weekly. I think that I may step it up to three times a week in a month or so. Blogging is really rewarding and works well with my self reflection. While I may not have a lot of readers now, I feel accountable writing down what I have and haven't done.

• Work Out

This semester I'll be taking a yoga and pilates class this term. I'm a little worried about the pilates, but I'll have a friend with me. I'm going to be trying to attend the Friday Concourse Yoga. I tried to have a work out buddy for working out in my dorm, but we were stymied by conflicting schedules, so I may just work out on my own in the Z-center.

• Cook and Pack Lunches

I've actually been been staying in the dorm for lunch, so I haven't been having to pack up. I do think that I should be cooking more. It'll be easier to do this as the weather warms up and grocery shopping becomes less of a chore.

• Confidence Increase

Maybe my confidence has increased. Seems like I am more content with myself, most likely due to the self reflection I've been focusing on. I feel much happier with the choices that I've been making, especially since it seems like I'm moving closer to my goal.

• Morning Yoga

Not too well on this resolution. I'm going to re-commit to this for the spring. I think this will also help with the difficulty I have getting out of bed. This links back to the working out resolution, so hopefully they'll rise together. 

• Talk to Ivanna x2 weekly

I have been doing very well on this. I write a letter every week and usually make a phone call or text throughout the week. To step up the commitment, I want to start taking a photo once a week to text to her which would also work well for blogging.

• Drink 8 cups of water / day

While I may not be all the way up to 8 cups a day, I have consistently been drinking water before going the sleep and right after waking up. I think I'm averaging 6 cups a day, focused in the evening. To be quite honest, I feel like I need to drink far more than 8 cups a day. 

• Keep My Room Clean

Victory! My room has actually been getting cleaner and neater. I emptied and condensed a number of things, leading to less clutter overall. If I can keep this up for the spring, I may reward myself by buying another small dresser for my beauty supplies and pajamas.

Overall, I feel that I've been doing well on my new year's resolutions. I am adding a few more resolutions, stepping it up a little bit.

Staying positive: Lookin' Good

I've realized that a major part of me feeling good about myself is based on feeling that I look good. This spring and summer, my goal is work a routine of healthy self care and trying out a new more outgoing personal style.



Read more to hear about my rationale for this new commitment and the steps that I've broken this major goal down into.




I was raised on the belief that "cleanliness is close to godliness" and that "your body is a temple," so I associate taking care of my body with taking care of my soul. I may not be as spiritual, but the feeling of being clean is still linked with a sense of personal peace and reflection for me. I often spend my shower planning out my day or revving myself up for class.

Looking back on my low points, I see that personal care is one of the first things that I cut out. The sad thing is that removing self care makes it difficult for me to go out and leads to debilitating self criticism. While the first thing to go, self care certainly isn't the last. Cutting down on self care is a rather common thing for people suffering from depression or even just general stress. If you struggle with this, there's a lot of support out there. Even if it's not part of a serious difficulty, it's easy to rationalize exchanging showering time for cramming for a test. Maybe we can challenge ourselves to take better care together!

This year, I made a commitment to improving myself and I catalogued those resolutions in my day planner.
( Read my improvement commitments here.)

I want to commit to looking nice, taking care of my appearance, so that I can tackle the world with a more outgoing personality.

• My goal is to shower daily, taking the time to shampoo, condition, exfoliate, and just enjoy the process of getting clean.
• I will try to do my hair well, so that I feel confident with it. 
• I want to wear make up on a regular basis rather than "giving up" on my appearance. 
• My outfits will be things I confidently enjoy rather than things that let me feel slouchy-comfortable. 
• I will take advantage of my clothes and jewelry that I own. 
• I should try to feel brave and adventurous trying out new clothes, rather than cautious. 

Cuter Electronics: THE END

So this is the end of the Cuter Electronics Series.

It was really fun to work on this for so long and share so many ideas.

What else would you like to see me write about?
What did you think of the series?
Did you purchase any of the listed pieces?

Let me know!
Comment and chit chat with me~

Day Planner

After going to the comic book shop with a friend, we wandered around a bit. And being the person that I am, I couldn't resist a little stationary kitsch shop.

It had so many cute things to pick up and explore. I was thinking of getting myself a nice soap but then realized I have enough soap for a small eternity, all of it lavender scented too.

Isn't the planner just lovely? I love that the cover is of vintage Boston. It has a bit of elastic to hold the cover closed along with ribbon to keep the page.

The front page has personal information; the next spread is monthly views and holidays.
I got myself a planner for new year of 2013 so to fully dedicate it in the back are my new year's resolutions. It has a great pocket in the back. I use it to store the letters that I'm about to post.

Set up with with a view of the week on one page and a note sheet for lists, this little planner has been helping me get organized. I use stickers to spark up the pages for my routine events and even for reminders of small inspirations. I put in my plans for IAP. I also put in some surprise plans throughout the year, complete with stickers. I think it's very important to have little things sprinkled throughout the year to keep oneself from losing sight of the small joys.

My one warning would be that it doesn't have a full spread monthly view.  For each week, there is a mini month view. That's alright for me since I have a monthly wall calendar along with a cell phone app calendar.

Hope that this little book can keep me organized throughout the year! I do really hope it does; as you can see I'm trying to improve myself a bit in 2013.
How do you keep organized? I enjoyed reading the Dainty Squid's post about planning blog posts.

preview for next blog post

A picture of the illustration in progress.
What will the post be about, I wonder.

Vlog

Good Morning!

Started my wake up routine with a cup of water and a plan for the day. For breakfast, I had some bread with Nutella with some tea wake up fully.

I recorded a vlog last night and am currently editing it. I had the brilliant idea of using the camera that our dorm uses for i3 videos since it's an HD camera. Super happy to be able to bring some high quality video without having to lay out the cash for a new camera. The new vlog's about cute electronic accessories. I should post the video on the 8th along with a related blog post. Please look forward to it!


Progress shots of the related illustration that I did!